Online Farm Shop is Open Again

Sign in a window that says "yes, we are open"
We are Open

It took me a while, but I got the on-line version of this shop open again! For now, there are two categories of items, Creative Projects and Farm Equipment and Supplies. I’ll add more categories and items as I go along. Yes, Christmas is next week. I have a lot of original things for people that are hard to shop for. I bet they never knew they wanted or needed a dowel center!!!

Right, the on-line shop is up before Christmas. Unless you stop by before Christmas and pick the item up that you ordered, I cannot guarantee it will get there before the holiday!

I am learning to be patient about the rest. We will get there!

I will also add consistent (what?) shop hours. Note, I am not physically well consistently, but I do have family help and 20+-years of accumulated items (many redundant because various locations) to sell. I am working on 1-2 days a week for about 4-hours. I am thinking Monday, Wednesday for sure and then either Saturday or Sunday. I’ll let you know.

This is super chatty and not at all a marketing type blog. I am wicked tired after figuring out the quirks and issues with the WooCommerce system. Headache is real. Let me know if you find quirks with this site. I am learning how to do this with a brain that isn’t always 100%.


December Updates

When you are a small business with many enterprises and few employees there are a lot of things that you want to do, but the time it takes to learn something new had always been unobtainable. Hiring people to make a website or do content management was 50:50 and often made more work for me.

What happens when you hit a brick wall physically and mentally? You have a lot of time on your hands to focus on healing and to learn new things. Only learning is different now. 

I scrubbed the website last spring and put up the blog to share the healing journey with friends. I didn’t think a lot of people would read it. I wanted to explore how I wanted to do things. What was I going to do now? 

I have a few pages to publish and will be adding information about:

  • Community Market – Devine Vine is closed and I have this awesome space at 10 Rocky Hill Rd in Hadley to share. If you are a farmer, creative, NGO, and want vending space… keep a look out for the Community Market page.
  • Farm Shop – I have a lot of extra farm and food processing and selling supplies that I just don’t need. You can purchase on-line and pick it up at the shop.
  • eNewsletter and Paid Content – I am changing this over from MailChimp to ConvertKit. I have to admit, that is a super intuitive and dynamic app. I’ll explain the paid stuff in the next blog post.

Book Review – What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo

When you first get the diagnosis that you have cPTSD you wonder what to do with that knowledge. As you look on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, whatever social media platform, you are bombarded by lists of symptoms and lists of therapy programs. You are told you are difficult, complex, basically all the things you know and don’t tell everyone. You are left with the idea that it is a life sentence. It is hard to find a book that not only shows you how you got there, but then what the journey is like as you try to find answers and heal. That is exactly what this book does.

I got this as an audio book. I listened to it 4-times in the first two weeks I had it. With cognitive issues, it took a while to retain all of it. I also needed to hear it a few times to remind me that I was not alone in finding this journey and that it will get better. The bonus was her sharing her therapy with her therapist, Jacob Ham. I have shared this book with a number of people since. It is interesting to listen to everyone’s take on this, but the one thing that we all agreed is that sharing the google doc of therapy sessions to then group comment with your therapist is HUGE.

It is 7+ hours to listen to, but it is super helpful that Stephanie is a journalist and is used to her own voice. It goes quick and it is well researched. It takes a lot to be vulnerable and to share trauma, especially when it involves failures of people who were supposed to be there to protect us and do not.

I think you will enjoy it.

Two Steps Back to Take One Step Forward

foot prints in gray sand

I had a difficult August. I think in my mind, I thought that once I started to take the meds for Q-fever that things were going to keep getting better. When I had setbacks (July 4th and then during that super-hot spell last month), my infectious disease Dr and I thought it was more of a reaction to heat. When it happened again during moderate weather and for longer, anxiety took over.

It is hard when you have medical issues not to be negative. I wrote, deleted and wrote, posted and deleted a few posts here because I was all over emotionally, mostly in a negative spiral because there were no patterns, it was out of my control, and I did not have hope that this was getting better. We all go there. It doesn’t help anything. How did I get out?

I could not write [well]. I isolated myself again. Therapy was not super helpful because I went back to this winter where my brain was in overwhelm and I quite literally could not think. Every task took a long time to do. I had to write a lot of notes. I forgot to return calls or texts again.

I was also super aware of the thin line between a trauma dump and sharing my healing journey. The point of this blog was to share, help someone with ideas or to find a common journey, have that space to share my life’s work. I needed time to find tools to help me navigate the physical and mental set back. I needed time to organize how to share everything in a way that is helpful for me and for anyone that stumbles onto this blog.

Here are a few of things I learned:

  • Setbacks happen and it *is* out of your control.
  • Note in a daily journal the who, what, where, when, and if you know why of this set-back. Detail the physical reactions first. Then the “inside voice” narratives that you are telling yourself.
  • I have this “Daily Reminders” list of things I can do to help when I am in certain brain spaces (Overthink–> Write, Confused/Anxious–> Walk, etc). The thing is that when I am in this fatigue state, those activities are not available to me. I am trying other things as a plan B.
  • You may have daily “self-care” routines that every app and Dr variety recommends you do, but when you are in an Overwhelm brainspace, self-care or anything fluffy or extra-work regarding your “self” is not going to happen. Have a AM and a PM To-Do list of the bare minimum daily needs that have to happen. Things like “brush teeth, brush hair, change underwear, drink glass of water, eat something resembling food…” Be realistic about it.
  • Have a “I am feeling a little better but am not quite there” daily list of things to do. Make it so you have to cross it off, not write it in. Be ok when it is not 100% of the list, just try to add one more thing a day.
  • If you push being ok too soon, it will either take longer to be ok again or you will go back to square one. You don’t want that any more than you want to be in this state of fatigue.

I am by nature someone who wants to keep bulling ahead. I am not sure if that is why I made it as long as I did in as much pain as I was in or as much overwhelm as I was in, but it almost killed me physically and mentally so don’t do that. You also need to work with health care varieties in this journey.

I would love to hear how people manage their physical and mental setbacks.